Guilt

is

a

bitch.












A big fat ugly one.

I can't deny the fact that I miss you
I miss feeling safe next to you
I miss your voice on the other end of the phone
Those times we stayed up all night trying to waste some time
Our silly fights
The making ups
The late night walks
Simply leaning against each other
I miss you playing with my stuff
I miss you reading my thoughts
I miss pieces of me

I read your letters every now and then
I always wear your necklace, it makes me feel safe
I listen to our songs over and over again
I still feel lost and shattered without you
I haven't compeletly taken in that you're no longer around

In my mind, I write and call you every day

I remember back when people used to hate how inseparable we were
It used to scare them off
After all, taking two down is way much harder
I wish I could go and tell them
That we're separated and apart
We were wrong and they were all right
Forever doesn't exist
We were young and naive
They can point and laugh at us now

I know you never really accepted me as I am
You never forgave my mistakes
Never gave unconditionally
Or picked me up when I was broken
You turned your back on me
You were an asshole
And most importantly
You never ever valued me
And that's why you died
Quietly and peacefully in my head

I do miss you, though I'm not quite sure I love you..

Stole it from

What would you be if you could be ...

A Vegetable: Lemon
An Animal: A pampered pet
A Fruit: Rotten
A Color: Black
A Household Object: A cup
Article of Clothing: Baby clothing, a gown, a good ol' comfy pair of jeans, pantyhose, or a raincoat
A Drink: Coffee
A Famous Person: Your mom
A Film Character: Anything played by your mom
A Cartoon Character: Tinkerbell
A Car: Vroom vroom bling bling pink car
A City: California
A Country: Iraq
A Mythical Creature: An angel
A Chocolate Bar: After eight
A Book: Nursery Ryhmes
A Sport: Any water sport
A Word: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
One of Your Family: Nobody
One Of Your Friends: Me

This or that:

Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi
Regular pool or heated pool? Beach
Hot tea or ice tea? Warm
Sunflower or daisy? A dead rose
Red rose or pink rose? Red
Salt or pepper? Sugar
Red or Green Apple? Green
Red or Blue? Red
Christmas or Thanksgiving? Your mom's birthday
Pink or Green? Pink
Hamburger or Hotdogs? Hamburger
Music or Movies? Music
Heaven or hell? Heaven
Comedy or horror? Both
aol or aim? None
ipod or mp3? iPod
Purse or backpack? Depends
Myspace or bebo? Facebook
Paris or France? Isn't Paris IN France?
Milky Way or Sneakers? None
Vanilla or Chocoloate? Chocolate
Phone or Internet? Both
Steak or Shrimp? Shrimp
School or Work? Dead
What comes to mind when you hear..

..snow? Dreams
..rain? Love
..tornado? You
..summer love? Hamster
..Jon? Stewart
..Mike? Music
..Shea? Black
..banana? Yellow
..dizzy? Crowd
..Laura? Bush
..Juan? San Juan
..car? Accident
..white? Sheet
..peppermint? Chocolate
..New Found Glory? Pop
..placebo? Idiots
..orange juice? Fresh
..candid camera? Freak show
..sister? Gone
..brother? Lost
..hate? Society
..school? Hell
..President? Crap
..football? Grass
..rap? Sucks
..pop? Lolly
..rock? Paper scissor
..punk? Skulls
..sex? Science book
..death? Friendship
..baby? Innocence
..duuude? Beach
..the end? You and me

I...

I Am: broken
I Want: you back
I Have: lost pieces of my heart
I Wish: it never happened
I Hate: everything about you
I Fear: waking up
I Hear: it hurts
I Search: for my senses
I Wonder: what if
I Regret: meeting you
I Love: everything about you
I Ache: for you
I Always: remember you
I Usually: hate it
I Am Not: okay
I Dance: in the rain
I Sing: along the radio songs
I Never: thought I'd see the day
I Rarely: do the things we used to do
I Cry: through all this confusion
I Am Not Always: sure I made the right decision
I Lose: this game called life
I'm Confused: as to where I stand
I Need: a best friend
I Should: suck it up and get over this crap

" Sometimes things fall apart for other things to fall into place. "

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I'm extremely happy. I got rid of my abusive "friends". I was so scared of letting go but I couldn't keep up with all the drama. They were holding me back, I had to let go. A history with someone does not amount to a good friendship. It’s been so much less stressful to have friends who actually act like real friends. I don't have to keep my guard up or watch what I'm saying. The rest of the world is a lot more friendly. People still associate me with my old friends. If one of them is absent or something they'll ask me where they are, how would I know, we haven’t spoken in months. FREEDOM HAHAHAH !

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I miss playing musical instruments. I want to re-learn how to play the piano or the accordion or even the xylophone. I used to play a lot of instruments when I was younger. It was fun. I don't know why I didn't keep it up. I totally regret quitting

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Kickboxing is awesome ! I LOVE IT !! You have to sort of want to kill someone, or beat the shit out of them to get into the kickboxing, TOTALLY ME LOL ! XD

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By any chance is there anyone out there who's experienced with piercings?

" Life is a cotton candy, pink with bits of white. Always sweet. Sometimes it can get really sticky but you can always hold it with a stick! " - A dear friend

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I need to bitch. Here it goes:

This has been bothering me for a while now. I'm active more than ever and I barely get any comments. I'm starting to feel like it's worthless. And it's like people post useless comments like "cool" or "wow"; no positive or negative criticism. What's wrong with you people?! You can do so much better than this!

I got 291 people watching me and only 4 or 5 of them give a damn. Where the hell is everybody?

I don't love you no more

P.S I'm pretty much sure most of you won't bother to reply, or even read this.

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I am torn between the need to say "no" and the desire to say "yes."

If I say YES to this, what am I saying NO to? If I say NO, what am I saying YES to?

Me is very confused